Should I Sell My Teenage Son's Sweaty Gym Clothes Online?

I’m unemployed in Oregon and trying to come up with simple ways to make rent. My dear wife and I would like your opinion on the legality of selling my teenage son’s sweaty gym clothes online. It sounds rather skeezy, I realize, and I’m only half-joking here. If we had a nonsexual website with pictures that weren’t necessarily of my son, would that be buffer enough? Would this be seen as me whoring out the boy? He’s up for it—as long as he gets his cut—but could I go to jail for this? He is 14. —Pimpin’ Out Real Teen’s Leftover, Acrid, Nasty Duds

Speaking parent-to-parent, PORTLAND, informing your 14-year-old son that there are perverts all over the Internet who would be willing to pay him for his sweaty gym clothes wasn’t the best idea. Whatever you ultimately decide to do with his sweaty jocks, shorts, and T-shirts—and I vote for tossing them in the wash—dangling the money your son could make catering to the desires of online pervs in front of him might inspire him to go into business for himself, whatever you decide to do. So keep an eye on his Internet usage, OK? As for the legal issues...

“Selling a physical property—sweat—might be an issue,” said Chris O’Connor, a public defender in Portland, Ore. “Also, he could be [charged with] fraud and misrepresentation for selling clothing he says is his 14-year-old son’s but isn’t.”

Even if no dissatisfied customers go running to the chamber of commerce, PORTLAND, there are other potential problems. For instance, as your son’s sweaty gym clothes make their way from his bedroom floor to the hands of underpants-huffing pervs all over the world, some items would travel—via U.S. mail or UPS or FedEx—through different jurisdictions. While there may not be a statute in Oregon that you could be prosecuted under for selling his undies, Mississippi or Illinois or Vatican City “may have specific laws, too,” says O’Connor—laws that you could be violating.

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Should I Sell My Teenage Son's Sweaty Gym Clothes Online?
Should I Sell My Teenage Son's Sweaty Gym Clothes Online?

A couple of questions: (1) Part of me wonders if this is a real orientation. Is this the result of some sort of trauma or psychological stuff that could potentially be dealt with through a therapist? I realize that sounds close to the whole “ex-gay



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At Providence Child Center, an aquatic therapy program immerses the medically ...

She's thrilled at a fundraiser planned for Saturday that aims to net $75000 to keep the center's cash-strapped aquatic therapy program afloat, and perhaps even double the number of sessions it offers patients annually, from 270 to 540. Portland swimmer



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More than 3400 students attend classes on the university's campus in Newberg, Ore., and at teaching centers in Portland, Salem, and Redmond, Ore., and Boise, Idaho. George Fox offers bachelor's degrees in more than 40 majors, degree-completion programs



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Helping her haul gravel was Kelly Slauson, 18, a Portland high school graduate who wants to study biology and become a physical therapist. "I have the opportunity to help other people," she says, "so I feel that is something I need to do.



Severely wounded veterans race Hood to Coast

PORTLAND, Or.-- Beginning Friday, thousands will race the grueling 197-miles from Mount Hood to the Oregon coast. The race will be exhausting, and at times painful. However, for Team Warfighter Sports, the road to get here was the real challenge.




Portland Marriage Counselor Tells Couples How to Stay Connected ...

This Portland marriage counselor knows that relationship success hinges on secure bonding from good communication. Communication breakdown is the number one reason for divorce. Romantic partners must do many things to get the message of love across to their partner. A secure bond helps to divorce-proof your relationship. All communication is not verbal. Couples communicate through words, touch, feelings and actions. If you do well in all four categories, your marriage will be happy.

Boost Your Bond says Portland Marriage Counselor

Couples counseling in Portland has taught me that all means of communication are important. Daily we use words as an attempt to connect. As a long time Portland marriage counselor, I know that words are easily misinterpreted and terrible disagreements can follow. Learn to speak in a way that doesn’t hurt or insult your partner. Make certain your partner correctly before responding. Communication is meant to bond you, not alienate you. If you have trouble in this area, consider a skills class, a workshop or private help.

Communicating through touch should be done daily. Sex, cuddling, a caress, holding hands, a hug, are all bonding. Remember that negative communication occurs in touch as well, and it can break down the bond. Pushing your partner away when they reach out, turning away in bed to convey displeasure, a kick under the table…all of these messages say, “I don’t approve of you.” As a long time marriage counselor in Portland I know that ignoring this area is very dangerous. If your touch has broken down, do not hesitate to get help.

Actions speak louder than words. Be active together. Compete together on the same team. Play a game or sport. Golf, soccer or charades, it doesn’t matter. They all bring cohesion. Laugh together. Go to a comedy club, or watch a funny movie. Like touch, laughing releases oxytocin, the most powerful bonding hormone.

In my Portland marriage counseling experience I see that couples who share feelings without blame or criticism, stay close. Humans are meant to share their feelings in order to create the bond of empathy. If this is a challenge for you try seeing a Portland marriage counselor . Feelings will connect or destroy a perfectly good relationship.


Couples Theapist Portland Or - Bookshelf

Niagara Falls, Or Does It?

Niagara Falls, Or Does It?

Fourth-graders Hank, Ashley, and Frankie are excitedly preparing for a magic show at the Rock 'N Bowl when Hank's creative alternative to an English essay lands ...

Twelfth Night; Or, what You Will

Twelfth Night; Or, what You Will

PERSONS REPRESENTED ORSINO, DukeofIllyria. SEBASTIAN, a young Gentleman, brother to Viola. ANTONIO, a Sea Captain, friend to Sebastian. ...

Blood meridian, or, The evening redness in the West

Blood meridian, or, The evening redness in the West

Based on incidents that took place in the southwestern United States and Mexico around 1850, this novel chronicles the crimes of a band of desperados, with a ...

Slaughterhouse-five, or, The children's crusade, a duty-dance with death

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Billy Pilgrim returns home from the Second World War only to be kidnapped by aliens from the planet Tralfamadore, who teach him that time is an eternal present

Frankenstein, Or the Modern Prometheus

Frankenstein, Or the Modern Prometheus

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