Room At The Top Lyrics

Are you at the Top of the Mark? | Stephen Crippen's Blog

 Thing to expect “too much” from your partner. But the research (and Gottman is a thorough, painstaking researcher!) disagrees. “I don’t know,” you might be thinking. “I’m probably too impatient, to idealistic. I should just be more accepting.” That sounds…kind, I suppose. You’re lowering your expectations because you don’t want to be “high maintenance,” or intolerant of another person’s flaws. To a certain extent, that kind of humility can serve you well. There’s certainly a place in any happy relationship for tolerance, discretion, and patience!

But… don’t take that too far. Don’t sell yourself short. And here’s a metaphor I came up with to explain what I mean. Whenever I go to San Francisco I try to make it to the Top of the Mark on Nob Hill for a cocktail. It’s the swanky bar on the top of the Mark Hopkins Hotel. (Usually I can afford only one cocktail!) The views are breathtaking, the room is light and elegant—it’s a fun San Francisco experience. And it’s my metaphor. Here’s my question: in your relationship, are you at the Top of the Mark? Or are you settling for the sleepy little bar on the main floor with no views?*

A ‘Top of the Mark’ relationship looks something like this (for me, I should say—your own definition might be different!): in my vision of a ‘Top of the Mark’ relationship, you’re with someone who builds trust with you over time, and you’re doing the same thing. You’re with someone who cares about your dreams. You’re with someone who delights you, attracts you, even ravishes you. You’re with someone who sometimes inspires ecstatic  This can be hard because you may not have thought of yourself in such a healthy way, or you may have learned that when you have high standards, the number of people interested in dating you dramatically drops. And you may have failed to see that the biggest reason for that drop was probably that non-Top people sensed you were too good for them and pulled out of the race! But if you’re ‘Top of the Mark’ material, then being on your own is preferable to being with someone who doesn’t meet you at the highest level.